December 30, 2012
Back at the end of July 2011, soon after our little family had moved into Jeff's parent's house and started our hunt for a home in Houston, Jeff and I decided to start trying for baby #2. I was REALLY excited, but those first couple of months, living with in-laws were busy, stressful and not very baby-making friendly, so it wasn't alarming when we didn't get pregnant right away. Although, we were a little disappointed since I was pregnant with Luke literally 2 days after I got off the pill, and we were really hoping it was going to happen that way again!
But all was well because when we finally found and moved into our new house, I had a positive pregnancy test in the very first month (October). We were both incredibly happy and excited! I even accidentally spilled the beans extra early, since I never considered we had anything to worry about.
Unfortunately, when I was just shy of 6 weeks along, I had a very unexpected and devastating miscarriage. I was so grateful, though, that after the initial shock and sadness that hit me in those first couple of hours, I was overcome by such a wonderful feeling of peace and I could feel my Heavenly Father's love so strongly. It is so wonderful to know that we are never alone and He will always give us the strength we need to face trials. I was also very grateful that it was still so early in the pregnancy. I never heard a heart beat or saw an ultrasound. The disappointment we felt was over the loss of the idea of a child, but I really don't think it was ever a viable pregnancy. I think there was a problem right from the start and a baby never actually formed. And for that I am very grateful because the loss of a child, whose little heartbeat I had heard would have been infinitely more devastating.
The following year and beyond was spent hoping and praying for that baby and wondering why he or she wasn't coming. It was extremely difficult to keep faith in the Lord's timing when the time just kept passing and passing and it was becoming far beyond the timing I thought I wanted. Most days, I was able to focus on the many, many blessings in my life and enjoy the time I had with my little buddy, Luke before my attention would have to be split between him and another little one. It helped to focus on others as much as possible and my wonderful husband (seriously, that word doesn't even begin to describe him. I am so deeply grateful for him every day) was a great strength and comfort to me, just knowing I wouldn't have to face any of this alone. However, there were some days where I felt I was at my breaking point and if I didn't get some kind of explanation for all of this right at that moment, I would explode!
I saw a doctor 10 months after the miscarriage, hoping to find answers, but he sent me away acting as though it was silly for a young, healthy woman like me to be worried about this. It's normal, he told me! You're fine! I suppose if you want to come back in 5 or 6 months, we can talk, but I really doubt you'll need to!
I went home that day and immediately called a second doctor: Dr. Joseph Castillo. He was wonderful! So genuine and compassionate. He really listened and cared and never once did he try to rush me or get me out of his office. He always remembered Luke's name. And a couple of months later, when I made an appointment to check in with him, he sat and talked with me in his office, and then informed me that he wouldn't be charging me for the visit because this was something he could have done with me over the phone. Such a good man! And he took me seriously! After our first visit, he put me on Clomid (a fertility drug that causes your body to release multiple eggs at once each month so there is a greater chance of one of them getting fertilized).
One month of Clomid: nothing. Two months of Clomid: nothing. During my 3rd month on Clomid, I asked Dr. Castillo if we could do an ultrasound to see if there was anything wrong with me internally that could be the problem. He agreed, and a week later, my ultrasound showed several ovarian cysts spread over both ovaries, and some thickening of the endometrium (the inner lining of the uterus). Dr. Castillo told me he would be happy to address these problems himself, but at this point, he would normally refer me to a fertility specialist anyway, so it was my choice if I wanted to hand over the reins to them now. I decided to set up an appointment at the Houston Fertility Clinic, per Dr. Castillo's recommendation.
The clinic got me in right away for a consultation, during which they treated me wonderfully and the doctor took the time to answer any and all questions and explain things to me in depth. It was his opinion that the cysts were caused by the Clomid and would clear up on their own very quickly (that sounded way too good to be true, but he was right!). He told me our next step would be for me to come back into the clinic in the first couple of days of my next period, which was due to start in about a week, so they could run some tests. But guess what? That never happened! Instead, I took a pregnancy test on December 12th and was shocked and overjoyed when it came back positive! It didn't seem real after I had gotten SO used to (and even somewhat numb to) disappointment month after month! But I called the fertility clinic and they had me come in for blood work (to check hormone levels) right away.
My levels came back great and then it was off to California for Christmas, with an ultrasound appointment set for the day after we returned home.
Finally, we arrive at the explanation for the title of this post: my ultrasound on December 26th (exactly 6 weeks pregnant). It went a little something like this:
The ultrasound tech finds the gestational sac. It is measuring exactly 6 weeks and there is a yolk sac inside (provides nutrients for baby). Everything looks great! She zooms back out and ...
"Oh, I'm seeing a second sac."
"What?? What does that mean?"
"That would mean twins, but I don't see anything in the second sac .. [zooms in] .. Oh wait, there is something in there!
"What?!" (My heart starts racing. Is this really possible??)
"There is a yolk sac in the second sac. But it's measuring quite a bit smaller than the first (only 5 weeks - a week behind), so it may just fade away with time. All we can do is wait and see."
6 weeks
[I should mention that Dr. Castillo warned me that there is a slightly higher chance of twins on Clomid, but in all of his years as an OBGYN, he had never had one of his patients end up with twins because of Clomid. Apparently, the odds of having twins without a fertility drug are 1-2% and on Clomid that chance rises to 5-6%. Still practically nothing! I never even considered it a possibility!]
Jeff and I were both a little doubtful that we would actually end up with twins! We were still just shocked and (cautiously) excited that I was finally pregnant and we were just hoping and praying that we would at least get to hold on to one baby!
But just two days after that first ultrasound, I was back at the clinic for another, during which I was completely blown away by the sound of TWO heartbeats! TWINS?! REALLY?! TWINS?! I still couldn't even begin to comprehend it! I drove home and greeted Jeff with, "Happy birthday! TWO heartbeats!" He looked completely blindsided! That was NOT the birthday gift he was expecting! I think we were both in shock about it for quite a while!
And as time went on, that little baby just kept fighting and growing and this twins thing became more and more real! At 7 weeks pregnant, little baby had caught up to only 4 days behind in size and was on schedule developmentally. And at 9 weeks, there wasn't a "little" baby anymore! They were both the same size! AND their heartbeats were about the same for the first time too (up until that point, little baby's had always been slightly weaker & slower)! Everything looked perfect and we felt so blessed! Even if the reality of it STILL hadn't quite sunk in!
9 weeks
9 weeks
More on this miraculous (and crazy) pregnancy later. For now, I leave you with the pictures we used to announce the pregnancy to Jeff's family at Sunday dinner when I was a couple days shy of 7 weeks pregnant:
6 weeks 2 days
7 weeks 2 days (the picture I used to make the announcement on Facebook at 8+ weeks along)
No comments:
Post a Comment